Absences
by Riona
Summary: Mitsuki-Takuto-Meroko friendship fic, set after the anime. Things haven't felt right since Meroko disappeared.


Mitsuki worries about Takuto, sometimes. She's glad that he's alive again, even if neither of them knows exactly how it happened, but since he became human, since Meroko disappeared, she's caught him looking so... sad, sometimes. She knows not having Meroko around is hard for him, even if he doesn't like to admit it, but sometimes she has the feeling that there might be something more he's not telling her.

They're in Takuto's flat; it's a lot harder for him to visit her room now that he's not invisible. He let her in when she knocked, and he's making an effort to be friendly, but he obviously doesn't feel like talking much; he's mostly just sitting quietly against the wall. Mitsuki sits down next to him, just in case she can help somehow by being there.

"Are you missing Meroko?" she asks, after a while.

Takuto looks surprised. "No," he says, and then, "Well, yes, but don't tell her that. But that wasn't what I was thinking about."

"I won't tell her," Mitsuki says, smiling. She's not sure she'll ever have the chance to, but she tries not to think about that. "So what were you thinking about?"

Takuto hesitates. "I was..." He looks away. "This is so stupid. I spent all that time regretting my death, and now I'm alive again it doesn't feel right."

Mitsuki blinks. "You miss being a shinigami?"

"Being a human... it's not the same," Takuto mutters, staring at his hands. "It's not _worse_, but... have you ever moved house, and gone back later to see the place you lived before? And it's still the same house, but someone else has moved in and their furniture is everywhere and it feels different?"

Mitsuki shakes her head in bemusement. Why are they talking about houses?

Takuto sighs a laugh. "Never mind."

"I could make you another cat-ear hat, if you wanted," Mitsuki offers, hesitantly.

His laugh is warmer this time. "No, you don't have to do that." He stands up and stretches. "I'm going to go for a walk."

"Okay," Mitsuki says, bobbing to her feet. "Where are we going?"

"I didn't ask whether you were coming," Takuto says, a smile twitching at the corner of his mouth. He holds out his hand to her. "Come on, then; we're going to the beach."

* * *

The beach is beautiful just before sunset. Mitsuki and Takuto wander along the shoreline, sometimes holding hands, sometimes not. Just the two of them, no one else around, and it should be perfect but it's not. Not completely.

Because it's just the two of them.

It's a calm evening, and the waves are barely ripples. Takuto picks up a large flat stone from the sand and sends it skipping over the ocean surface. Mitsuki gives him a little shove; she knows he's only doing it to annoy her, because she's never managed to skim a stone in her life.

They talk for a while, they sing a little, but eventually Takuto falls quiet, looking up at the sky. Mitsuki thinks she might know what he's thinking about.

"You can talk to me about it, you know," Mitsuki says. "If you miss being a shinigami."

He shakes his head. "I shouldn't have said anything about it. I was being stupid. I don't know how this happened, but I should just be glad I've got a second chance."

"No, it's okay! I know it must be strange. It's still strange for me, sometimes. I keep forgetting people can see you now. And I miss having you and Meroko with me all the time." She smiles a little. "And your wings were really cool."

"Oh, and I don't look cool now?" Takuto protests.

"Plus... I know it's not the same, but I'm not Full Moon any more," she says. "So I do understand what it's like to... lose a part of who you are, I think."

Takuto looks away, awkwardly. "Sorry about that."

"No, it's not your fault! Besides, I'll be sixteen one day, won't I?"

He laughs a little at that, to Mitsuki's relief; she was worried that bringing up Full Moon might have been a mistake. "I guess so. You'll hold your comeback concert and you won't have aged at all. People are going to think Full Moon is immortal."

They probably are, aren't they? That's actually less strange than the truth. "It won't be the same if Meroko isn't here, though."

Takuto doesn't answer. For a while, there's nothing but the sound of the ocean lapping gently against the beach.

"Do you think it's because of Meroko?" Mitsuki asks. "Your second chance?"

"I don't know," Takuto says, looking down at his feet. "I sometimes wonder. If anyone could shout so hard at the laws of the universe that they'd turn me into a human instead of a ghost, it's Meroko." He raises his head and gives Mitsuki a smile, but it looks sad, somehow. "Have you seen her at all?"

Mitsuki bites her lip and shakes her head. "Not since she led me to you."

"Where is that woman?" Takuto mutters. "Honestly, making us worry—" and then something glances off his head and he claps a hand to his temple with a yelp of pain.

"Takuto?" Mitsuki exclaims, alarmed.

Two more of the somethings hit Takuto – they're little seashells, Mitsuki realises, and she whips around but there's no one nearby and the seashells are just hurtling out of _nowhere_—

—and then a broad smile spreads across her face.

"What are you so happy about?" Takuto demands, tenting his arms over his head for protection.

"Meroko!" Mitsuki calls. "Is that you?"

"_Meroko?_" Takuto echoes in disbelief.

A pebble rises up from the edge of the water – Takuto flinches – and begins to move in small circles in the air. Mitsuki's smile becomes even bigger.

"Is that really you?" Takuto asks, letting his arms fall. "Are you serious? _That's_ how you say hello?"

The pebble hesitates for a moment, then starts to move in complicated shapes that Mitsuki can't possibly follow. Takuto cocks his head and stares at it with an incredulous expression.

"Um," Mitsuki says, "are you trying to write? Because... because there's all this sand here..."

The pebble freezes for a long moment, then drops to the surface of the beach. Writing starts to appear in the sand, and Mitsuki claps her hands together eagerly. Meroko is here, really here. The three of them are together again at last.

_I should probably have thought of that_, the writing says.

Takuto snorts. Another seashell waves itself threateningly in his direction, and he covers with a cough before asking, "So why were you throwing things at me?"

_Well, I couldn't throw things at Mitsuki! That would be so mean!_

"How is it not mean to throw them at me? Why do you have to throw things at all?"

_I wanted you to know I was here! It's rude to talk about people when you don't think they're there, you know._

Takuto presses a hand over his face. Mitsuki drops to her knees and starts to write in the sand with her finger.

"Mitsuki," Takuto says, wearily, "you don't have to write."

"Oh! Right. I wanted to say we're glad you're here, Meroko."

"I'm still deciding whether I'm glad," Takuto mutters.

"But why can't I see you any more?" Mitsuki asks. "Can't you turn into a rabbit and talk to us? I miss you."

The response doesn't appear straight away. _I want you to see me too. But I'm an angel now_.

There's a moment's silence before both Takuto and Mitsuki burst out laughing. Mitsuki is only just beginning to recover when _I'm not kidding! _appears in the sand, along with a drawing of an angry face, and sets her off again.

_Look!_ the sand says, and suddenly the air around them is filled with a flurry of white feathers. Mitsuki gasps in delight. They drift down to lie on the sand, dotted around Meroko's side of their conversation.

Takuto seems less impressed. "Is that supposed to prove something? Shinigami have wings as well, you know."

_I'm an angel_, Meroko writes, firmly. She underlines it three times.

"That's amazing," Mitsuki says, picking up one of the feathers. If she holds it in the shadows it looks like it's glowing with a very faint, soft light, like the feather Takuto saved from when he regained his memories. She tucks it into one of her hair ties so she won't lose it.

"If that's true," Takuto says, "when did it happen? Was it when I..." He tails off and gestures vaguely at himself.

_That's right! You could've been in a lot of trouble, but I think I managed to swing it for you._

Takuto nods. "I thought it might have been you, somehow," he says, and then, after a moment, "Thank you."

There's a longer moment before _You're welcome _writes itself into the sand, followed by a little heart. Takuto's ears turn red and he crosses his arms over his chest. Mitsuki tries very hard not to giggle.

"And you became an angel, Meroko?" she asks.

_Yeah, I was kind of confused by that part too. But I don't mind. I don't think I could have taken anyone's soul again, after meeting you._

"Meroko," Mitsuki whispers. Her throat feels very tight, suddenly.

_You shouldn't miss it, Takuto_, the sand says. _I mean, I worked hard enough to get you a second chance! And you never really liked the job, did you?_

Takuto sighs, quietly. "I know," he says. "What you did for me... I can't ever repay you for. I'll get used to it eventually. It just feels like my identity... wait, how did you know I was missing it?"

There is a very, very long pause before the answer comes. _Angels just know these things?_ The question mark is violently obliterated almost as soon as it appears, but too late; they've already seen it.

"Meroko," Takuto says, slowly, "how long have you been hanging around us?"

Another pause.

_I don't know?_

"You must have some idea," Takuto says, folding his arms.

"Meroko?" Mitsuki asks.

_A few weeks? Maybe?_

In perfect unison, Mitsuki and Takuto look at each other, then at the writing in the sand.

_You don't understand, you guys, being an angel is so boring! It's so boring! You're just meant to sit around playing the harp! I don't even know how! The other angels laugh at me!_

Mitsuki has to struggle to contain her smile.

"A _few weeks?_" Takuto demands. "You've been listening in all this time? You can't just do things like that!"

_Plus I really missed you guys_, the sand-writing concludes, a little shakily, and Takuto seems to relent.

"All right," he says. "But you couldn't have tried to get our attention earlier? Instead of eavesdropping for _weeks_?"

_I did! You remember that old warehouse you were singing in?_

Mitsuki brings a hand over her mouth, amazed. She remembers. She'd found the warehouse and wanted to try singing in it, because of the strange echo; Takuto had come along because he had been worried it might be dangerous. There had been a lot of strange, unsettling rattling and banging. Things had seemed to move when they weren't looking. They hadn't stayed for very long. "That was _you?_"

A strange expression crosses Takuto's face.

"Well, of course I knew it was you," he says. "I just decided to ignore you because you were being obnoxious."

"Eh?" Mitsuki exclaims. "Really? You knew it was Meroko? Why didn't you tell me? I thought you were scared!"

Takuto coughs and looks away.

_Don't believe him, Mitsuki._

"Shut up," Takuto says, glancing back at the sand-writing out of the corner of his eye, and for a moment Mitsuki could almost swear that she hears Meroko's distant laughter.

_You practically ran out of that place. Did you think it was haunted? You used to be a shinigami!_

Takuto drops down to sit on the sand, facing the setting sun, his legs stretched out in front of him. "You know," he says, "for an angel you're not very angelic."

A sad face appears in the sand. Mitsuki laughs, scuffs the mouth out and draws a smile instead.

Meroko doesn't write anything else for a little while after that, but Mitsuki doesn't mind; she's sure that Meroko's still there, and that's enough. She settles down on the beach next to Takuto, wrapping her arms around her legs.

After a moment, Mitsuki glances over at Takuto. He's gazing into the distance, a small smile on his lips. He looks... peaceful, somehow. Serene. For once, he doesn't look like he's dwelling on who he is; he's just Takuto the human, and he seems comfortable with that. Mitsuki thinks having Meroko around must be good for him.

Takuto seems to notice her gaze, and he looks towards her, raising an eyebrow. Mitsuki just shrugs and smiles, and they carry on watching the sunset together. Meroko must be watching it too, Mitsuki thinks.

_It was really good to talk to you guys again_, Meroko writes, eventually.

Mitsuki sits up sharply. "Are you leaving?"

_No_, Meroko writes, and Mitsuki relaxes again. _I was just thinking... I won't always be able to speak to you this easily. And I miss you._

"I'll carry a notebook everywhere I go," Mitsuki says. "So we can always talk."

Meroko draws a circle around the face on the sand, the one Mitsuki made into a smile.

* * *

It's not the same as it was for that wonderful year, not for any of them. It never will be, really, even if Takuto keeps forgetting he's not a shinigami any more and walking into walls. But it's good. Mitsuki still has her most precious friends with her, the ones she once thought might have been lost forever. And in just a few years, she can be Full Moon again.

The sun has almost completely set, and their shadows stretch out behind them on the sand, over the lines and lines from Meroko. Mitsuki leans against Takuto's shoulder, and closes her eyes, and smiles. Meroko is right beside her, she knows. She doesn't have to see her for that to be real.

They all have things they miss, but they'll be okay. They're together, and that means they're going to be okay.


End file.
